garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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