I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
