Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Less talking, more tequila
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
