I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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