Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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