she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i came on her dog
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize