if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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