But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
