put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
