After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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