Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Is it because I queefed?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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