Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
