I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
