I showed him my bush... on skype.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
