All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
