I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
