Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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