Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
