apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
