Can i not drive my cunt home
Sober January is a disaster.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
