You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We're too hungover to prance.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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