why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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