so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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