I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
