First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
