idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
