im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize