I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
