sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
