she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
