Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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