we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
