are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize