I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
