but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
