i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
