3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize