ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
