cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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