i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
