im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
