Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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