Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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