I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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