There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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