The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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