yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
