hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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