just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
