just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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