Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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