And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
