dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
