I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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