i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
