it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i think i just lost a toe
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
