Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize